Lulled to existance.

And as I sat there aimlessly, the realization of breathing lulled me to existence.But the lullaby was not in any manner soft or sweet. It was loud.And harsh.And hard.

Its been too much of me not knowing myself. I was drowned so much in others life that I forgot that I too had one. The only problem was I cared too much, I guess. STOP CARING- I heard myself saying but it was all the way too much difficult! How do I not care when people I love are crying? Maybe they never care and always find me there when they need me but I can't help it.I don't even remember what I have been doing  and what I want to do and whatsoever.To live up others' expectations I have completely lost myself.All this is too much for me to take in.I struggle to think of one thing I did which I really wanted.

It then started to drizzle. Half drenched I forced myself to walk back to my room and take a nap, Dreaming that things will change in the strange ten hours.

And I woke up next morning to the same sun, same routine, same lullaby.And I know the same realization will come back to me again.Someday.